Cat found back in the apartment after wife thought it got away when husband left the door open, blamed her for not noticing, and refused to go back and help when she's locked out in freezing temperatures.

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Feb 5, 2026 2:00 PM EST

Accountability has left the building. Luckily, the cat didn't.

Look, we're not claiming to be relationship advisers. We're mere cat lovers with a platform. But we're human, we know what it is to be in a relationship, and what it is to raise a cat together (because, of course, our partners have to be cat people too). First of all, when you raise a cat, together with someone or alone, it means you have full responsibility for this creature that entered your life. Their safety is in your hands, depends on your deeds, and it's your job to make sure what you do is aimed towards your cat's wellbeing. This memo seems to have missed the husband in this case, since he won't admit, under any circumstances, that his actions might have had grave consequences.

These consequences in question are leaving a cat outside in freezing temperatures. And not just any cat - his own cat. The one whose safety is in his hands. But will he be shocked by the accidental near-consequences for his own actions? Nope. He will go back home and blame his wife for not noticing his misdeeds sooner, obviously. We don't get it - as cat pawrents ourselves, the mere thought of our cat freezing outside because we accidentally left the door open leaves us in horror.

Besides the thoughts about the cat, we also feel for the wife who had to suffer a husband blaming her for it. While she's stuck outside the apartment in the cold. Without even mentioning the childish behavior he continued on with, we would be horrified. We were really not kidding when we said that the person we're in a relationship with must be a cat person too - it means feeling responsible for the cat as we do. If that can't happen - the relationship can't happen. So no, we're not relationship advisers, but this is what we would do.

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  • 01
    My husband 30M and I 26F live together in New York City in a first floor apartment right next to the building entrance, we also have a two year old cat together.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 02
    Comfortable cat on the floor, inside a house, well-lit environment.
    via Inge Wallumrød from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    Today my husband left to go to the gym while I was doing some cleaning in another room.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 04
    About an hour and a half later, I walk past the apartment door and I realize it's propped open by about 5-6 inches.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 05
    Normally our door shuts automatically, but my husband's very bulky winter coat was hanging on a hook on the door and a part of the coat got jammed in the door hinge, leaving the door propped open.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 06
    Immediately I pull the coat out of the door, and start looking for my cat. I call her name and shake her treat jar, but she doesn't come out.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 07
    In a moment of pure panic I made a stupid decision, I went outside the apartment without shoes, jacket, or my keys to check if she was hiding in the building hallways.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 08
    And then the door shut behind me, so now I was locked out of my apartment.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 09
    Cat sits comfortably on a person's lap, close-up on its face. Looking intently on something out of frame.
    via Magda Ehlers from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    Thankfully I had my phone, so I call my husband, but he didn't pick up at first.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 11
    So I try calling again, and this time he answers, but I guess he can't hear me because he repeatedly says "yes, and?", as I try to tell him what happened, and then he hangs up after 25 seconds.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 12
    So I text him CALL ME NOW and try ringing him again, he picks up and at this point I'm freaking out so I just yell into the phone "YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AND I CANT FIND OUR CAT, AND I GOT LOCKED OUT LOOKING FOR HER!" Initially he says "oh my god what?!", but then immediately blame me.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 13
    He says, "Why didn't you notice the door was open sooner?? This is your fault not mine!!" Obviously my initial tone was harsh, I know, but I was panicking!
    via Agreeable_End9249

  • We would also be panicking! The thought of our cats being stuck outside during winter is a scary thought. They are house cats, they don't know what to do, where to turn, and they'd probably be panicking way more than the human looking for them. Poor things.

    Luckily for this couple's cat, they were in the apartment all along. But we understand why the wife would react this way - we would, too. What we don't understand is how the husband doesn't. Sure, not all people are cat people - but this cat is already theirs, the cat's parents are them… husband included. Doesn't he care about the potential consequences of his own actions?

  • 14
    Couple arguing, woman tries to calm down the man, who's pointing an accusatory finger at her.
    via LightFieldStudios

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    I'm crying and I tell him "PLEASE get here as soon as possible!!" And he keeps listing a bunch of reasons why it's my fault (I didn't get our cat an AirTag, I should've noticed earlier, I was dumb for locking myself out, etc).
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 16
    I just got mad at him blaming me so much so I shout, "STOP, JUST GET HERE NOW!" And he says "no I'm not coming!" AND HANGS UP.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 17
    So now I'm freaking out like is he coming or not?! I texted him "I have no shoes or jacket, please just come quickly!
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 18
    I just got scared because I couldn't find our cat and accidentally locked myself out looking for her in the hall, please just come" and I call him back to confirm that he's coming.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 19
    About 10 minutes later he gets here. I'm crying so hard because I'm just so worried.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 20
    Couple after a fight, sitting on opposite sides of the couch, looking away from each other, expressions angry and disappointed.
    via Vasyl Dolmatov

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    He opens the door and we find our cat inside, I'm relieved, but my husband is super mad.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 22
    He yelled at me "SO I CAME ALL THE WAY HERE FOR NOTHING??!" I told him it wasn't for nothing because I was locked out, and he says "yeah because you were stupid to leave without your keys!" I got pissed by this and I said "well you were stupid to leave the apartment door wide open!
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 23
    You started this whole problem, do you even feel bad about it??" And he just got really mad.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 24
    We went back and forth, I was saying he should apologize for carelessly leaving the door open, and for immediately trying to blame me even though it feels like it's clearly his fault.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 25
    Couple in a fight, husband lists things on his fingers accusitory motion, wife with confused expression.
    via Pressmaster

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 26
    He was saying it's my fault for not noticing sooner, for not putting an AirTag on our indoor cat, that I overreacted, that I was stupid to lock myself out, and I was inconsiderate for interrupting his workout.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 27
    I walked away because I was just really annoyed about the whole thing. And then I hear some paper ripping.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 28
    I go back to the room, and I see him ripping up a bunch of sentimental handwritten letters and travel postcards from my friends/family!!
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 29
    I'm devastated and really upset, I had these letters and postcards hanging up in our kitchen.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 30
    I see this and I yell at him to stop, but it was too late. At this point he just suddenly left to go back to the gym.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 31
    He said I way overreacted to everything including him ripping my letters. Am I overreacting?
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 32
    Wife looking at her wedding ring, help in her hand, sad expression. Husband sits in the background, looking away.
    via shisuka

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 33
    Scoliosis Aquarian66 That... is downright abusive behavior. A person who loves you would IMMEDIATELY (if they are able) come to your aid and console/help you. Not blame or yell at you. Plus, ripping up sentimental things of your that he knows the significance of? He was WANTING to hurt you. Partners, GOOD partners, do not want to hurt each other.
    via ScoliosisAquarian66
  • 34
    OP Agreeable_End9249 He told me that he initially reacted the way he did because he felt like I was immediately assigning blame to him due to my tone on the phone/the wording I used "you left the door open". Especially after it ended up being that our cat was fine, he said I was being extremely toxic for basically getting mad about "nothing".
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 35
    The thing is, I wasn't initially mad at him at all, I figured it was an innocent mistake, and I wasn't even gonna call him unless I seriously couldn't locate our cat. When I got locked out but before I called my husband, I went to an online app for our cat treat dispenser that also has a camera, I was gonna send some treats and watch the camera to see if she was inside the apartment, and then just wait it out in the hall until he came home on his own. But yesterday
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 36
    he unplugged the device to put his space heater, so it was disconnected and I had no way to check if she was inside, and I couldn't go outside the building to look for her either (no shoes or jacket an it's 10F outside), so that's when I REALLY panicked and called him freaking out. I didn't mention the electronic treat dispenser/camera to him, but I was pretty upset about that too. Plus, it took 3 calls for him to understand what was happening, so I was just
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 37
    super desperate and frustrated on the phone, not actually trying to take it out on him, but I can partially see why he felt the way he did. Except in my mind, I'm like obviously I was yelling and freaking out because I was super worried about our cat, and I feel like he should've realized that. I was overthinking a lot worrying about my cat and all the possible nightmare scenarios.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 38
    But yeah I agree him destroying my letters was so uncalled for! I'm really devastated about this. I would have already apologized to him for my overreaction if he had not ripped my letters. Now I feel like he crossed a serious line.
    via Agreeable_End9249
  • 39
    shutup_bra1n That was not on you in any way. That man fucked up and didnt want to admit it so he blamed you.
    via shutup_bra1n
  • 40
    W3S_I_AM Your husband is a dick. Why would you even stay with someone who treats you that way?
    via W3S_I_AM
  • 41
    AggravatingGrape418 NOR. Lol on aita I used to tell people to stop telling everyone to divorce/break up/cut off family or friends over tiny things.
    via AggravatingGrape418
  • 42
    In this sub, I'm like 'wtf...' w every other post. Girl, please leave him. This is so weird. He blamed you for his mistake, his immediate instinct in a panic is to blame you 10x for shit that's obviously his fault, he refused to come to look for your guys' cat (wtf?? was he not worried), then he punishes you by tearing up your fucking letters?? What?
    via AggravatingGrape418
  • 43
    Seriously, having no partner is a million times better and more supportive than this dude. You don't wanna deal with this every time shit goes down, he's the opposite of helpful. Make sure you get the cat when you leave him.
    via AggravatingGrape418
  • 44
    ArmSad1760 that's actually abuse, he is abusing you.
    via ArmSad1760
  • 45
    NOR. Top-Arugula-3662 What a horrible way for a man to treat someone he claims to love.
    via Top-Arugula-3662

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feud cat drama pets wife relationships husband feline Cats toxic relationship
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